I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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