Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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