I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
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