...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
