Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
