Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
