You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
