can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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