It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
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