i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
