glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
