i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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