I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
