it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
