I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
