I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize