Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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