jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
