Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
