I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
