some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
