Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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