I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
