I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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