I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
