I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
