he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
