Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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