Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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