Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
