i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
