he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize