My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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