oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
