i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
