Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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