Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize