i barfeds in our rink
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
