Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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