I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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