Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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