He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
