ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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