Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
