? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
