I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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