i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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