we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Semen is not good for contacts.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
