I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Too much gin, very little bucket
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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