He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
