I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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