My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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