Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
