Its about making memories worth repressing
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize