My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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