You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
