I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
