Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
