are you so shy because you have an std?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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