I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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