what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
