3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
